Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in devi_d_88's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, December 28th, 2005
8:37 pm	What is this Have you ever felt broken? I know other people are reading this but I have to ask myself that. I know my brain is screwed up...miswired, what with that damn compulsive disorder and the depression. But I digress, I just want to know if anyone felt strange or out of place in their own family. and I'm not talking about the average teen thing about feeling left out and alone. I mean a life long thing, I should be around the age of growing out of this shouldn't I? Damn, what happens when you never feel quite right always the puzzle piece that doesn't quite fit...doesn't even belong in the box...hmph...oh well (Comment on this)
Monday, December 26th, 2005
1:51 pm	Massive present exchange and other such things. Well so much for that holiday...Not that it wasn't fun but you know I think I'm getting a bit old for that massive amount of paper shredding at 5:30 in the morning...my little sister woke me up. Anyway break is still on until the 10 of January so I suppose all is well, I have not been sleepong well as of late so I'm not terribly worried about the return of school...even when it does start up again I only have five months until I graduate...and after that 3 months until I go to college...actually it's quite a terrifying thought that eight months from now I'll be leaving my home and going to a very foreign place (to me any way) for a whole new chapter of my life...I wonder if I can handle that...or if I'll end up havein a break down and going to the place with the padded walls. (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 22nd, 2005
4:27 pm	Nothing to speak of now...I'm actually quite bored come to think of it...today was the last day of school before holiday break, I suppose that's some thing to be happy about anyway. Well I hope you have a happy holiday time whoever you are that's reading this...that's actually kind of creepy to think people are reading this stuff. *laugh* oh well (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 18th, 2005
6:10 pm	The fork in the road Who am I? I question myself at almost every step I take...a confusing road that leads to nowhere I'm stuck on it right now and forever...right now the road is forked...Fort Lewis, forget about my highschool life and move on to something different or Adam's State, stay with a highschool friend and be a little more comfortable...What am I supposed to do when I have one person that's gone ahead of me trying to pull me down one path...and my parents trying to force me down the other. I think I need to get out of here to leave this place I've known that for some time now. But where can I go, I need to practice my cartoons before I submit them. Then what...I know I am going to move on but where this path leads I don't know, hopefully I'll come out alive at the end. Maybe I'll even have some one there waiting or someone who I will meet on the broken road we'll come out together and the rest will be history...yeah right. (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 15th, 2005
7:49 pm	What the hell is wrong with me? I feel like a terrible person. My brother is downstairs berating himself because I'm a psycho bitch...it's not my fault I'm going somewhere. the little fuck needs to get his own life...turn off the video game and get out of the god damned house. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 14th, 2005
7:30 pm	other things my brain has said when I'm not looking I realize as I sit out and watch the stars that I have something in common with a good part of the world. So many people connected by one thing. So many of us sitting watching the stars, wishing for something more...anything. At least when I sit there gazing out, I don't feel nearly as alone as I usually do...its almost comforting...almost. There's an emptiness inside me and it seems that no matter what I do I can't fill it up. I watch movies, read books, and play video games, and I realize that they are all just sad little replacements for my life, because none of the stuff I read or watch will ever come true. There's no such thing as Dragons or Oracles, prophecies...I hide myself away in these false realities but I'm begining to realize now that I can' hide any more, I know none of it's real...it's making it harder to live in the fake reality where pain and sadness don't exist for me. But that world is dissolving around me now and I don't know how to stop it, It's so much easier to hide when I'm in pain then to let others know what's going on, I don't want the world in my head to go away because when it does all that's left is reatlity...and I don't want that. (Comment on this)
5:59 pm	random So many thing I can say that will make no difference to me or anyone else who happens to read this little blurb...I suppose it's been an interesting day, our cats knocked the Christmas tree over...yeah I had the stomach flu...got out of work early, to tell the truth i hate working even though I get money for it, there are just so many...things I hate about it...the fast food smell that has attached itself to my jacket, the grease in my hair, the dirt...I just despise it. Aside form that my life has been well, my friend is having a melt down over the guy she wants to be her boyfriend and even though it's not nice I almost enjoy watching her in pain all the time she scoffs at me...doesn't matter though does it? Well I hope you've enjoyed, until next time friends (Comment on this)